Let me tell you, when I started this blog; I meant the name and the attitude to be sort of ironic. When I started, I was only mildly cynical and for the most part wanted to make fun of people who get upset and get cynical about things. However, in recent times I've realised that it's no longer an ironic joke; I really am a cynical asshole.
I hadn't thought much about it before, but when I was on my Facebook today; I was scrolling through the homepage and seeing all the new statuses and whatnot, when I realised that as I was seeing statuses and photos of people being happy and having fun; I was building in anger and being pissed.
It's weird, the people I was seeing were friends of mine, around my age and I've known them all my life. I like (most) of them. However, just seeing people having fun really pissed me off. It's odd, I began to realise that even in "fun" situations, I still cannot recall having any true fun.
Like when I was a kid, I was always in a pissy mood during trips, or anything of the sort. Fuck! That was when I was a child! I don't know why I am like this, but I'm actually kind of freaked out about how cynical I've become over my illustrious fifteen years on this planet.
Showing posts with label bitching and moaning. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bitching and moaning. Show all posts
Friday, June 28, 2013
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Bitter Ramblings From an Author with ADHD.
Okay, well, I actually don't have ADHD; or at least I haven't been formally diagnosed. But no matter, because I have a horrid tendency to start something, become encompassed in it completely, then never finish it. Fuck, does this annoy me! If one was to search through my computer long enough, and managed to completely miss all of the fucked up, depraved porn on there, they'd find a stash of plot outlines, character sheets, unfinished books, individual chapters, unfinished screenplays. The whole nine yards, basically.
A part of me is really turned on by the fact that I have so much work to complete before I bite the dust. I mean, think about it: I'm fifteen, so if I have a seemingly-endless collection of work begging to be finished, and I do this all of the time; then I never have to worry about "writer's block". I have an infinite slew of stuff to do! If I ever grow tired of writing a book about an Arabian midget and his struggle to become a woman, well then I have a whole different book about a Chilean man and his love affair with a toaster! I never have to worry about finding new ideas! Yay!
On the flip-side, however...I'll never be able to finish it all! If I keep doing this shit, by the time I pass on, I will have a whole library of unfinished work! Why is this horrible, you wonder? Well, what if I become a well-respected author and the books and screenplays I do manage to finish in my life are critically acclaimed; then all of the sudden I drop dead of a massive heart attack at age 40. Uh-oh, this isn't good. Now twenty years after I pass, two-or-three yuppie assholes are going to try and "complete my work" and they fuck it up worse than I could've ever done. I'd haunt their asses!
Plus, a lot of my work is shit. Really bad shit, I might add. But they have the potential to be brilliant! What if someone stumbles onto my work and they read it and go: "Jesus H. Christ! This fucking sucks!" and then my reputation and/or memories as a good writer are tarnished! Fuck! Most of the shit on my computer will be from my youth. So, of course it'll fucking blow donkey dick! They won't know that, though!
I guess there are pros and cons to the matter, but regardless I just want to begin and finish a project in one fucking sitting, goddammit!
A part of me is really turned on by the fact that I have so much work to complete before I bite the dust. I mean, think about it: I'm fifteen, so if I have a seemingly-endless collection of work begging to be finished, and I do this all of the time; then I never have to worry about "writer's block". I have an infinite slew of stuff to do! If I ever grow tired of writing a book about an Arabian midget and his struggle to become a woman, well then I have a whole different book about a Chilean man and his love affair with a toaster! I never have to worry about finding new ideas! Yay!
On the flip-side, however...I'll never be able to finish it all! If I keep doing this shit, by the time I pass on, I will have a whole library of unfinished work! Why is this horrible, you wonder? Well, what if I become a well-respected author and the books and screenplays I do manage to finish in my life are critically acclaimed; then all of the sudden I drop dead of a massive heart attack at age 40. Uh-oh, this isn't good. Now twenty years after I pass, two-or-three yuppie assholes are going to try and "complete my work" and they fuck it up worse than I could've ever done. I'd haunt their asses!
Plus, a lot of my work is shit. Really bad shit, I might add. But they have the potential to be brilliant! What if someone stumbles onto my work and they read it and go: "Jesus H. Christ! This fucking sucks!" and then my reputation and/or memories as a good writer are tarnished! Fuck! Most of the shit on my computer will be from my youth. So, of course it'll fucking blow donkey dick! They won't know that, though!
I guess there are pros and cons to the matter, but regardless I just want to begin and finish a project in one fucking sitting, goddammit!
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