Goddammit, I Really Am a Cynical Asshole...

Let me tell you, when I started this blog; I meant the name and the attitude to be sort of ironic. When I started, I was only mildly cynical and for the most part wanted to make fun of people who get upset and get cynical about things. However, in recent times I've realised that it's no longer an ironic joke; I really am a cynical asshole.

I hadn't thought much about it before, but when I was on my Facebook today; I was scrolling through the homepage and seeing all the new statuses and whatnot, when I realised that as I was seeing statuses and photos of people being happy and having fun; I was building in anger and being pissed.

It's weird, the people I was seeing were friends of mine, around my age and I've known them all my life. I like (most) of them. However, just seeing people having fun really pissed me off. It's odd, I began to realise that even in "fun" situations, I still cannot recall having any true fun.

Like when I was a kid, I was always in a pissy mood during trips, or anything of the sort. Fuck! That was when I was a child! I don't know why I am like this, but I'm actually kind of freaked out about how cynical I've become over my illustrious fifteen years on this planet.

I'm Thinking About Going to 'AA'...

...Not 'Alcoholic's Anonymous', shit-for-brains; I'm talking about the newly-formed 'Asshole's Anonymous'!

Never heard of it? Neither have I, so that's why I thought I should found it. Similar to the other AA and it's slightly-worse brother, NA (Narcotic's Anonymous), it has twelve steps. Which I shall go over...now:

Step 1 - We admitted we were fucking assholes; we were powerless and full of great douchebaggery. Goddamn, did we suck.

Step 2 - We believe that the flying spaghetti monster has intervened and set us down the path to recovery.

Step 3 - We made an 'informed' decision to let the flying spaghetti monster into our hearts and let him take over...I mean, I can't to be blame for my douchebaggery; it was obvious that the flying spaghetti monster needed me to fuck up so I could...not be a fuck up...wait...

Step 4 - We looked deep inside ourselves to find good morals and hope...All I found was blood, guts and bones...I need a fucking map.

Step 5 - We admitted to the flying spaghetti monsters that we suck and he's number one.

Step 6 - We're pretty goddamn ready to stop being a bunch of cunts.

Step 7 - More of the same fucking shit of the last six; I think we really got ahead of ourselves with the number of these fucking steps...

Step 8 - We made a list of all the people we've offended; and swiftly told those bastards to: "eat me".

Step 9 - The exact same fucking thing as step eight...fuck the person who wrote this list...oh wait...

Step 10 - MORE OF THE SAME GODDAMN SHIT.

Step 11 - EVEN MORE OF THE SAME FUCKING SHIT.

Step 12 - TAKE A FUCKING GUESS. FUCK THIS, I'M STILL AN ASSHOLE! AND I'M GODDAMNED PROUD!

...Ahem...maybe this whole idea of 'Asshole's Anonymous' wasn't such a great idea...