A Collection of 5 Books I Enjoy

That's right, these aren't necessarily my favourite books of all-time; just the ones I enjoy quite a bit at this particular moment in time, you see? I hope you enjoy my list and if you don't agree with my favourites, why not leave yours in the comments?

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (1962)

Yeah, yeah, yeah; you all saw this coming. I love the shit out of both the novella by Anthony Burgess and the film adaptation by Stanley Kubrick. Granted, I love the film a lot more than the novella because of the changes made to it, the soundtrack and the way Stanley Kubrick incorporated his views on society into an already great piece of literature. Hell, I consider A Clockwork Orange to be Kubrick's magnum opus! However, the way Mr. Burgess wrote this novella was brilliant, to say the absolute least. Not to mention how goddamned wonderful Nadsat is! I speak in Nadsat all the time in my daily life and no one understands me! I'm not ranking these in any particular order, or anything, but I actually consider A Clockwork Orange to be my favourite piece of literature of all-time.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding (1954)

Now, I can already feel the hate that'll be given to me for this choice. Yeah, we all had to read this in high school, I get it. You don't associate the book with good times. However, even though I first completed the book while in high school; I started reading it about a year earlier, but never had the motivation to finish it. When I did, though, I was blown away by how deep and allegorical the novel is! I love how much it uses allusions and how, like A Clockwork Orange, it's a study on human nature and the concept of morality. Not only one of my favourites of the moment, one of my favourite of all-time.

The Dark Half by Stephen King (1989)

Now, a lot of people don't think of Stephen King as a truly great author. I mean, let's play a game:

Quick! Where are does this book take place? That's right, Maine.
Quick! Who's the main character? That's right, an alcoholic writer.
Quick! Is this alcoholic writer from Maine crazy? That's right, he is.

Now, chances are, you've never read this book. So, how did you know the answers? Because it's Stephen King's basics. Granted, it's not a ground-breaking piece of literature that offers something new to the table; but goddammit, it's an underrated novel that deserves much more credit than it gets! It's not a great book, I concur, but it's a very good book that is far better than most of King's novels. What I really like about it is how he alludes the events in the story to the real-life event of him being outed as Richard Bachman, his pen-name. That's pretty cool, y'know?

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (1951)

Another example of a book that is widely-introduced through English classes around the country. Yeah, it's kind of overrated, I agree. But you don't become overrated by being a shitty book! This is an excellent piece of literature for those in my age group, teenagers on the verge of adulthood. Everything from the anti-hero Holden Caulfield and his identity crisis, as well as his swearing tendencies, and need for belonging make him a relatable protagonist and central character for a superior book.

A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck (1972)

Well, lookey-lookey; another fucking book from English class. I must admit, I wasn't too thrilled to read a book entitled: A Day No Pigs Would Die, but the story was pretty emotional and very heartbreaking. But also very heartwarming in the way that we watched Rob develop from a immature adolescent to a responsible young man whom his father can trust after he passes on. Then when you realise it was an autobiographical novel, it's like, holy shit, this actually happened?! I enjoy the book a lot, but I wouldn't call it an all-time favourite, yet. Granted, I am premature to it.

Thanks for the read and I have a lot more in store.

The Top 15 'SpongeBob SquarePants' Episodes (In My Humble Opinion)

We all love(d) SpongeBob, right? Clever humour, intriguing premise, diverse characters (I mean a sponge, a starfish, a squid, a crab with a whale daughter, and squirrel...). But that was the old SpongeBob; now it's all based around two boderline retards annoying the fuck out of an innocent man (Squidward).

So, why not remember the good times (Seasons 1-3) and pick out the top 15 greatest episodes ever? I am doing so right and without further adieu, I bring to you: "The Top 15 'SpongeBob SquarePants' Episodes (In My Humble Opinion)."

*Note: Neither 'Band Geeks' or 'Pizza Delivery' are number one. Sorry.

15. "Procrastination"

To kick off the list, why not start with an episode of SpongeBob needing to finish his report, but the lazy fuck won't do it.

The premise is simple, yes. But it doesn't take a way the fact that procrastination is a common problem and many of us can relate to SpongeBob in this episode. I mean, shit, when I was a kid, I would procrastinate my homework just to watch this episode!

 Sorry, they all have to be speedy.

14. "The Chaperone"

I loved the shit out of this episode growing up! SpongeBob having to take Mr. Krabs' daughter (Who I still can't fucking understand why she's a whale.) to her prom? Genius! Especially considering how Pearl is so against the idea of SpongeBob taking her; until of course they both end up having a pretty fun time.

Tall, dark and handsome. Haha.

13. "Hall Monitor"

SpongeBob takes shit way too seriously from time-to-time, and this is a prime example. He really loves being hall monitor; so much so that he takes his job beyond the classroom and onto the streets of Bikini Bottom. (Sexy name, by the way.)  Havoc, obviously, ensues.

 

SpongeBob, you fuck!

12. "Nasty Patty"

Oh, fuck me. This episode used to be one I couldn't eat anything to. From the dark opening to the patty itself. I was so stripped of my love-affair with hamburgers that I couldn't eat them for a good, long-ass while. So, I think we should show this episode on a 24/7 loop in all fast food joints. Let those fuckers know how it is.

  

This one is regular speed.

11 - "Band Geeks"

Okay, well hear me out. This is a funny, clever episode with a kickass ending! But, it's by no means the greatest episode of the series. Certainly the greatest ending, but we're looking at the episodes as a whole. So, sorry guys, it only ranks at number eleven.

Probably shitty quality; I apologise in advance.

10 - "Imitation Krabs"

Plankton in a Mr. Krabs cyborg clone? I believe that speaks for itself.

 

The ending was also pretty goddamned funny.

9 - "Christmas Who?"

Hands down. The greatest Christmas special ever produced. Fuck Frosty and Rudolph! It's all about SpongeBob finding out about Santa! Granted, the ending felt a bit rushed, I still hold this episode is such a high regard that even to this day I watch it on Christmas morning.

Still a kickass special.

8 - "Pizza Delivery"

I think I enjoy this one so much because of no matter how annoying SpongeBob is to Squidward; he'll still defend him when he has to. I loved how Squidward did that in this episode, so much so I wanted to say "Aww!" like those fucking audiences on a sitcom.

It's a rock!

7 - "Pickles"

Man, that fat-fuck of a customer really pissed me off as a kid! I'm so glad the bastard got what he deserved in the end. I thought it was a nice, interesting episodes that held my attention all the way through.

This thumbnail looks very misleading...

6 - "Just One Bite"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't number one either, and it barely missed the top five! I bet you guys are pissed and all, but, while it's a great episode; it's not that great.

"Oh please, I have no soul."

5 - "Naughty Nautical Neighbours"

Goddamn, do I love this episode. I mostly love the pure reversal of affection over Squidward's friendship as opposed to their (SpongeBob and Patrick) own. I also put in the top five for the singular moment when they keep asking for refills and Patrick gives a full class. "Patrick! Your glass is full!" I laughed my balls off for days.

 

Best thumbnail in the history of Earth.

4 - "SB-129"

This is like the 2001: A Space Odyssey of SpongeBob Episodes; it's so deep and philosophical and that's why I love the shit out of it! It would be number one, but I feel it's not really fair to the other episodes. So, I think four is the highest I can go and not have SponeBob fans shit on my soul. Still my favourite, though!

 

Still one of the best episodes of any show, ever.

3 - "Ripped Pants"

I just love the shit out of that song! It makes me feel so young and happy again! Oh, yeah...Well, the plot was pretty great for SpongeBob standards and I liked how SpongeBob had romantic feelings for Sandy. I wish that would've continued.

 

What's with all these sexy thumbnails?

Put here because I think you need to rehear the song as intended!

2 - "Wet Painters"

One of the funniest episodes of all-time! Holy shit, just the way they keep fucking everything up is so funny! I also love how in the end, the fix was so simple. Truly a great piece of writing here!

Angry Patrick is angry.

Strangely enough, this happens to be the A-side to the number one episode...

1 - "Krusty Krab Training Video"

Oh my fucking John Lennon! This is the greatest, funniest, wittiest and all-around most original episode not only of the series, but possibly of all cartoons! Take notes Regular Show, this is how you do an amazing episode!

I wish this one wasn't fucking speeded up.

So, there you have it! My top 15 SpongeBob SquarePants episodes. Any I didn't include that you think should have? Any that you think should've been ranked higher/lower? Let me know in the comments!