And Now, My Top 10 Favourite Books

Last time, I did the five books I was enjoying at that moment in time; now, I bring to you my top ten favourite books of all time (non-fiction and fiction included.):

10. In His Own Write - John Lennon

So, this is a book of nonsense poetry and stories. It's not a technically 'great' book, but it is perfect for a lark and is a great, short read. It's also noteworthy for being the first non-Beatles thing any of the four ever did. John also wrote two more books entitled: A Spaniard in the Works and Skywriting by Word of Mouth. Neither had quite the impact his first book had on me.

9. Journey to the Centre of the Earth - Jules Verne

It may seem a tad distant than my previous choice, y'know? However, I'm quite fond of this story and of the characters. May I also express my love for the original film, as well. The remake/reboot/whatever-the-fuck was just horrible. But, I will say that both the novel and original film are both ranking high in both my literary and film favourites.

8. John - Cynthia Lennon

By Lennon, Journey to the Centre of the Earth is sandwiched in-between two Lennon books! One by him and one about him! In this non-fiction biography by his first wife, Cynthia, John tells about the relationship they had together and in spite of all the negative aspects she brings to the forefront about John's life; she counter-balances it by talking about how much they loved one another, how horrid John's life was and how fame so young ruined both their marriage, and his relationship with his first son Julian.

7. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson

This is a pseudo-fiction, pseudo-non-fiction book by Hunter S. Thompson based upon two real-life trips to Las Vegas that he took with a man by the name of Oscar Zeta Acosta. Of course, because it's technically fiction he embellishes and makes things up; but on the whole, this novel is based on real events, as well as the numerous LSD trips Thompson and Acosta took during their lovely trips.

6. Why We Suck - Denis Leary

Why We Suck: A Feel-Good Guide to Staying Fat, Loud and Lazy is the first book by Dr. Denis Leary, who actually received an honorary doctorate from Emerson College. Denis is most well-known for his first comedy special No Cure for Cancer in which many suspect he took a great deal of material from former friend and fellow comedian Bill Hicks; however, I don't agree. He's also well-known for my favourite television programme of all-time Rescue Me. In this book it's partially autobiography, partially essays, partially jokes; well, you get the point.

5. The Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger

Fuck you, I like this book. I can relate to Holden Caulfield; I am a bitchy adolescent who just wants to find his place in the world. Now, some of you may find it a tad ironic that a list of favourite books includes a book about John Lennon and a book by John Lennon, and a book that inspired Mark David Chapman to shoot-and-kill John Lennon are all on the same list. Well, simply put; J.D Salinger didn't write the book with hopes MDC would kill John. I mean, no shit.

4. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey

Now, be aware I love both the novel and the film; and the film I love much, much more. But I still love the fuck out of this novel! I like the idea of a regular guy unneededly put into a mental asylum filled with 'crazy' people and he helps them love who they are and to challenge authority! I'm kind of anti-authority myself, so it makes sense.

3. Napalm and Silly Putty - George Carlin

Last non-fiction book on the list. I love all of Carlin's books, but I feel that this one was really his best. I mean, George is my favourite comedian of all-time; and to have a book of his best material, thoughts and opinions? Genius! Sure, it was his third book; but it's still his best. Not to mention this book inspired me to write Poppycock.

2. A Clockwork Orange - Anthony Burgess

It was pretty tough putting this book at number two because of the sheer impact it had on me whilst reading it; however, I still stand by my number one choice and feel that, while this novella is terrific and a real statement on society and how we view morality; the final chapter (thankfully omitted from the US version and the film) just ruins everything. A book about a teenager who loves rape, murder and violence suddenly reforms completely and moves on? I don't care if he's older, Alex is a fucking sociopath and you know it! You can't change shit like that! Didn't we establish the Ludovico technique didn't even work on him and he was just playing along? Come on now, Anthony!

1. Lord of the Flies - William Golding

I don't give a shit what anyone says. This is the most poetic, allegorical, statement on society, view of morality, view of innocence and exploration for the inherent evil of humanity is simply the greatest work of fiction because it's very much like a non-fiction book! It is simply the greatest and most well-thought out books of all-time. I mean, the ending marking the end of innocence is fucking beautiful.

A Collection of 5 Books I Enjoy

That's right, these aren't necessarily my favourite books of all-time; just the ones I enjoy quite a bit at this particular moment in time, you see? I hope you enjoy my list and if you don't agree with my favourites, why not leave yours in the comments?

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (1962)

Yeah, yeah, yeah; you all saw this coming. I love the shit out of both the novella by Anthony Burgess and the film adaptation by Stanley Kubrick. Granted, I love the film a lot more than the novella because of the changes made to it, the soundtrack and the way Stanley Kubrick incorporated his views on society into an already great piece of literature. Hell, I consider A Clockwork Orange to be Kubrick's magnum opus! However, the way Mr. Burgess wrote this novella was brilliant, to say the absolute least. Not to mention how goddamned wonderful Nadsat is! I speak in Nadsat all the time in my daily life and no one understands me! I'm not ranking these in any particular order, or anything, but I actually consider A Clockwork Orange to be my favourite piece of literature of all-time.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding (1954)

Now, I can already feel the hate that'll be given to me for this choice. Yeah, we all had to read this in high school, I get it. You don't associate the book with good times. However, even though I first completed the book while in high school; I started reading it about a year earlier, but never had the motivation to finish it. When I did, though, I was blown away by how deep and allegorical the novel is! I love how much it uses allusions and how, like A Clockwork Orange, it's a study on human nature and the concept of morality. Not only one of my favourites of the moment, one of my favourite of all-time.

The Dark Half by Stephen King (1989)

Now, a lot of people don't think of Stephen King as a truly great author. I mean, let's play a game:

Quick! Where are does this book take place? That's right, Maine.
Quick! Who's the main character? That's right, an alcoholic writer.
Quick! Is this alcoholic writer from Maine crazy? That's right, he is.

Now, chances are, you've never read this book. So, how did you know the answers? Because it's Stephen King's basics. Granted, it's not a ground-breaking piece of literature that offers something new to the table; but goddammit, it's an underrated novel that deserves much more credit than it gets! It's not a great book, I concur, but it's a very good book that is far better than most of King's novels. What I really like about it is how he alludes the events in the story to the real-life event of him being outed as Richard Bachman, his pen-name. That's pretty cool, y'know?

The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger (1951)

Another example of a book that is widely-introduced through English classes around the country. Yeah, it's kind of overrated, I agree. But you don't become overrated by being a shitty book! This is an excellent piece of literature for those in my age group, teenagers on the verge of adulthood. Everything from the anti-hero Holden Caulfield and his identity crisis, as well as his swearing tendencies, and need for belonging make him a relatable protagonist and central character for a superior book.

A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Peck (1972)

Well, lookey-lookey; another fucking book from English class. I must admit, I wasn't too thrilled to read a book entitled: A Day No Pigs Would Die, but the story was pretty emotional and very heartbreaking. But also very heartwarming in the way that we watched Rob develop from a immature adolescent to a responsible young man whom his father can trust after he passes on. Then when you realise it was an autobiographical novel, it's like, holy shit, this actually happened?! I enjoy the book a lot, but I wouldn't call it an all-time favourite, yet. Granted, I am premature to it.

Thanks for the read and I have a lot more in store.

Top Top 15 Beatles' Songs (In My Humble Opinion)

Okay, as you may know, I'm a huge Beatlemaniac. I mean, I practically worship John Lennon in a God-like fashion! So, I feel the need to compile a list of my favourite Beatles' songs. Let me just say: THIS WAS PRETTY FUCKING HARD. I felt so bad about leaving songs out and putting songs above one-another. So, think of this as an 'incomplete list'.

15. "You Won't See Me" - Written by Paul McCartney - Rubber Soul

Rubber Soul is my second-favourite Beatles' album of all-time, so it makes sense it would have a song on the list. However, this is the only one I feel breaks the top 15. I know, I know. Norwegian Wood! Nowhere Man! I get it! But this is the only song from the album that I truly, truly love.

14. "She Said, She Said" - Written by John Lennon - Revolver

Written after a bad acid trip and Peter Fonda telling Lennon and Harrison about almost dying...Great song!

13. "Baby's in Black" - Written by Lennon/McCartney - Beatles for Sale

This song inspired Paint it Black by The Rolling Stones; which is featured over the end credits of Full Metal Jacket.

12. I, Me, Mine - Written by George Harrison - Let it Be

People like to pretend this was the last Beatles' song ever recorded. It wasn't, but it's still a kick-ass rock ballad on a criminally underrated Let it Be.

11. Mother Nature's Son - Written by Paul McCartney - The Beatles (The White Album)

Inspired by a horny meditation guru who told them they were children of nature. What better reason to write a song?

10. Love You To - Written by George Harrison - Revolver

Okay, I know the title is grammatically incorrect, but fuck me this song is underrated and great! Even better than Tomorrow Never Knows, which is why that song is nowhere to be found on this list.

9. I'm a Loser - Written by John Lennon - Beatles for Sale

Lennon really shined on the equally-underrated Beatles for Sale with very Bob Dylan-esque songs. This is a great example.

8. Across the Universe - Written by John Lennon - Let it Be

Really superb and poetic song by Lennon. Arguably one of his greatest lyrical pieces ever composed.

7. I've Got a Feeling - Written by Lennon/McCartney - Let it Be

Well, shit; Let it Be again? I must really think the damn album is really underrated. Oh well. A kick-ass song with Lennon's superb middle-eight. "Everybody had a wet dream." Yes they did, John. Yes they did.

6. Yer Blues - Written by John Lennon - The Beatles (The White Album)

One of the more...depressing songs..."Yes, I'm lonely; wanna die." But a great one, nonetheless.

5. Long, Long, Long - Written by George Harrison - The Beatles (The White Album)

Two white album songs in a row?! George really became a great songwriter by the end of The Beatles. This one is criminally underrated!

4. Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight/The End - Written by Paul McCartney - Abbey Road

It may be the only song(s) on this list; but at least it's in the top five!

3. A Day in the Life - Written by Lennon/McCartney - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

I KNOW, I KNOW! "But Josh! This is the greatest Beatles' song ever! Don't you read Rolling Stone?!" Eat me, okay. It's a great song, but not the greatest.

2. While My Guitar Gently Weeps - Written by George Harrison - Anthology 3 Version

Now, I enjoy the version on The White Album and all, but the Anthology 3 version is truly a masterpiece of music. I damn-near cried listening to it!

1. I'm Only Sleeping - Written by John Lennon - Revolver

And you don't believe that Revolver is the greatest album ever produced? Listen to any of the songs from it on this list, but mostly listen to perhaps the greatest Beatles' song ever: 

The Top 15 'SpongeBob SquarePants' Episodes (In My Humble Opinion)

We all love(d) SpongeBob, right? Clever humour, intriguing premise, diverse characters (I mean a sponge, a starfish, a squid, a crab with a whale daughter, and squirrel...). But that was the old SpongeBob; now it's all based around two boderline retards annoying the fuck out of an innocent man (Squidward).

So, why not remember the good times (Seasons 1-3) and pick out the top 15 greatest episodes ever? I am doing so right and without further adieu, I bring to you: "The Top 15 'SpongeBob SquarePants' Episodes (In My Humble Opinion)."

*Note: Neither 'Band Geeks' or 'Pizza Delivery' are number one. Sorry.

15. "Procrastination"

To kick off the list, why not start with an episode of SpongeBob needing to finish his report, but the lazy fuck won't do it.

The premise is simple, yes. But it doesn't take a way the fact that procrastination is a common problem and many of us can relate to SpongeBob in this episode. I mean, shit, when I was a kid, I would procrastinate my homework just to watch this episode!

 Sorry, they all have to be speedy.

14. "The Chaperone"

I loved the shit out of this episode growing up! SpongeBob having to take Mr. Krabs' daughter (Who I still can't fucking understand why she's a whale.) to her prom? Genius! Especially considering how Pearl is so against the idea of SpongeBob taking her; until of course they both end up having a pretty fun time.

Tall, dark and handsome. Haha.

13. "Hall Monitor"

SpongeBob takes shit way too seriously from time-to-time, and this is a prime example. He really loves being hall monitor; so much so that he takes his job beyond the classroom and onto the streets of Bikini Bottom. (Sexy name, by the way.)  Havoc, obviously, ensues.

 

SpongeBob, you fuck!

12. "Nasty Patty"

Oh, fuck me. This episode used to be one I couldn't eat anything to. From the dark opening to the patty itself. I was so stripped of my love-affair with hamburgers that I couldn't eat them for a good, long-ass while. So, I think we should show this episode on a 24/7 loop in all fast food joints. Let those fuckers know how it is.

  

This one is regular speed.

11 - "Band Geeks"

Okay, well hear me out. This is a funny, clever episode with a kickass ending! But, it's by no means the greatest episode of the series. Certainly the greatest ending, but we're looking at the episodes as a whole. So, sorry guys, it only ranks at number eleven.

Probably shitty quality; I apologise in advance.

10 - "Imitation Krabs"

Plankton in a Mr. Krabs cyborg clone? I believe that speaks for itself.

 

The ending was also pretty goddamned funny.

9 - "Christmas Who?"

Hands down. The greatest Christmas special ever produced. Fuck Frosty and Rudolph! It's all about SpongeBob finding out about Santa! Granted, the ending felt a bit rushed, I still hold this episode is such a high regard that even to this day I watch it on Christmas morning.

Still a kickass special.

8 - "Pizza Delivery"

I think I enjoy this one so much because of no matter how annoying SpongeBob is to Squidward; he'll still defend him when he has to. I loved how Squidward did that in this episode, so much so I wanted to say "Aww!" like those fucking audiences on a sitcom.

It's a rock!

7 - "Pickles"

Man, that fat-fuck of a customer really pissed me off as a kid! I'm so glad the bastard got what he deserved in the end. I thought it was a nice, interesting episodes that held my attention all the way through.

This thumbnail looks very misleading...

6 - "Just One Bite"

Yeah, yeah, yeah. This isn't number one either, and it barely missed the top five! I bet you guys are pissed and all, but, while it's a great episode; it's not that great.

"Oh please, I have no soul."

5 - "Naughty Nautical Neighbours"

Goddamn, do I love this episode. I mostly love the pure reversal of affection over Squidward's friendship as opposed to their (SpongeBob and Patrick) own. I also put in the top five for the singular moment when they keep asking for refills and Patrick gives a full class. "Patrick! Your glass is full!" I laughed my balls off for days.

 

Best thumbnail in the history of Earth.

4 - "SB-129"

This is like the 2001: A Space Odyssey of SpongeBob Episodes; it's so deep and philosophical and that's why I love the shit out of it! It would be number one, but I feel it's not really fair to the other episodes. So, I think four is the highest I can go and not have SponeBob fans shit on my soul. Still my favourite, though!

 

Still one of the best episodes of any show, ever.

3 - "Ripped Pants"

I just love the shit out of that song! It makes me feel so young and happy again! Oh, yeah...Well, the plot was pretty great for SpongeBob standards and I liked how SpongeBob had romantic feelings for Sandy. I wish that would've continued.

 

What's with all these sexy thumbnails?

Put here because I think you need to rehear the song as intended!

2 - "Wet Painters"

One of the funniest episodes of all-time! Holy shit, just the way they keep fucking everything up is so funny! I also love how in the end, the fix was so simple. Truly a great piece of writing here!

Angry Patrick is angry.

Strangely enough, this happens to be the A-side to the number one episode...

1 - "Krusty Krab Training Video"

Oh my fucking John Lennon! This is the greatest, funniest, wittiest and all-around most original episode not only of the series, but possibly of all cartoons! Take notes Regular Show, this is how you do an amazing episode!

I wish this one wasn't fucking speeded up.

So, there you have it! My top 15 SpongeBob SquarePants episodes. Any I didn't include that you think should have? Any that you think should've been ranked higher/lower? Let me know in the comments!