Due to the moderate success of my previous book Poppycock: A Collection of Thoughts, Essays and Jokes, I'm contemplating a sequel that would follow the same format as the former. However, I'm curious what direction it should go?
My first book was very political and went in-depth about my anti-religion stance and my liberal politics. However, I think my second book should be more pop-culture oriented and should include more things akin to the things I post of this blog.
So, tell me fans; what direction should I go with the new book? Also, what the hell should I call it? I had quite a difficult time coming up with a title for my first book. (It was originally entitled Fifty Shades of Surratt, for Lennon's sake!) So, help me out?
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Showing posts with label help. Show all posts
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Monday, June 10, 2013
I Suffer From 'Public Piss Syndrome' (And Why it Fucking Sucks)
I have PPS. Now, before you all jump on Google and look up: "What the hell is PPS?"; allow me to elaborate on this disease I just made up.
Public Piss Syndrome (PPS) is a common ailment that affects both men and women all across the globe. PPS is known for making it immensely difficult for pissing in a public setting; especially for men, considering we have those oh-so open devices called: "Urinals". It affects approximately 5.6 billion people on earth, and that statistic is complete-and-utter horseshit.
I developed PPS about two years ago after watching a goddamned film named: Waiting..., and in the film there is a character named Calvin. Calvin is a shy, pussy-whipped and a fellow PPS comrade. His shortcomings in the pisser are elaborated on mid-way through the film, when he tells the dishwasher Bishop about how he developed PPS. He goes into a long, detailed story about how once when the restaurant was closing, he was pissing at a urinal, and some sick-fuck Carrot Top impersonator walks past a million empty urinals and uses the one next to him...
...And then stares at his cock.
And after seeing this film; I quickly developed PPS and now whenever anyone is in the restroom with me; I freeze up and cannot drain my metaphorical lizard.
For fuck's sake! Help me find a cure for this horrid disease!
Public Piss Syndrome (PPS) is a common ailment that affects both men and women all across the globe. PPS is known for making it immensely difficult for pissing in a public setting; especially for men, considering we have those oh-so open devices called: "Urinals". It affects approximately 5.6 billion people on earth, and that statistic is complete-and-utter horseshit.
I developed PPS about two years ago after watching a goddamned film named: Waiting..., and in the film there is a character named Calvin. Calvin is a shy, pussy-whipped and a fellow PPS comrade. His shortcomings in the pisser are elaborated on mid-way through the film, when he tells the dishwasher Bishop about how he developed PPS. He goes into a long, detailed story about how once when the restaurant was closing, he was pissing at a urinal, and some sick-fuck Carrot Top impersonator walks past a million empty urinals and uses the one next to him...
...And then stares at his cock.
And after seeing this film; I quickly developed PPS and now whenever anyone is in the restroom with me; I freeze up and cannot drain my metaphorical lizard.
For fuck's sake! Help me find a cure for this horrid disease!
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