I don't know why here in the United States that the mutilation of dicks is such a common practice. I'm goddamn happy that my parents didn't let the doctors cut off my manhood! In case you don't know, circumcision is the horrifying act of cutting a newly-born baby's foreskin off!
I feel so bad for everyone who has gotten the unfortunate procedure done to them! How dare they do it at birth; why not let the kid decide, goddammit! It is his cock, you know?
Jesus, shit like this gets me so pissed off.
Showing posts with label angry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angry. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 26, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
Sitcoms Minus Laugh-Tracks Are Shitcoms
Go on, I'll wait. Go watch a handful of sitcoms with the laugh tracks digitally removed. Then come back and try telling me that wasn't the most awkward experience of your life.
I'll be right here waiting.
You finished? Great, now do you finally agree with me? Holy shit, it was perhaps the weirdest and most uncomfortable experience of my entire life! The Big Bang Theory quickly becomes Unfunny Nerds and a Hot Chick in a matter of seconds. F.R.I.E.N.D.S soon stands for Fucking Ridiculous Irritatingly Endless Nonsense that just Damn Sucks.
I mean, really, these motherfuckers take a long pause for laughter after literally every fucking line. How fucking unrealistic and idiotic?!
This is why shows like Arrested Development and Workaholics will always surpass these 'shitcoms'. Why? Because they have comedic timing with interesting and above-all: realistic dialogue.
I mean, trust me, I love sitcoms! Some of my all-time favourite shows are sitcoms; Married...with Children, for instance is in my top ten favourite television programmes ever made. But the difference between these modern shitcoms and classic sitcoms is that the laughter you hear is genuine! Also, the actors don't take pauses so the audience can laugh, they have to stop reciting their lines because the audience won't stop laughing.
So, this is why I grow tired of these shows and why I feel that you should either get rid of the studio audience completely, or let them laugh genuinely, goddammit!
I'll be right here waiting.
You finished? Great, now do you finally agree with me? Holy shit, it was perhaps the weirdest and most uncomfortable experience of my entire life! The Big Bang Theory quickly becomes Unfunny Nerds and a Hot Chick in a matter of seconds. F.R.I.E.N.D.S soon stands for Fucking Ridiculous Irritatingly Endless Nonsense that just Damn Sucks.
I mean, really, these motherfuckers take a long pause for laughter after literally every fucking line. How fucking unrealistic and idiotic?!
This is why shows like Arrested Development and Workaholics will always surpass these 'shitcoms'. Why? Because they have comedic timing with interesting and above-all: realistic dialogue.
I mean, trust me, I love sitcoms! Some of my all-time favourite shows are sitcoms; Married...with Children, for instance is in my top ten favourite television programmes ever made. But the difference between these modern shitcoms and classic sitcoms is that the laughter you hear is genuine! Also, the actors don't take pauses so the audience can laugh, they have to stop reciting their lines because the audience won't stop laughing.
So, this is why I grow tired of these shows and why I feel that you should either get rid of the studio audience completely, or let them laugh genuinely, goddammit!
FBI Warning: Piracy is ILLEGAL! (No fucking shit.)
Goddamn, goddamn, goddamn! I'm at my boiling point with this DVD shit! Every fucking time I put a DVD in, let's say I'm watching a series on DVD which requires me to put another disc in after every four-or-five episodes, right?
Well, every time you put another one in; you have to sit through logos (That you can't skip) and then anti-piracy ads (That you can't skip). At least you can skip the trailers, but fuck me! This anti-piracy shit is going way to far! We get it:
PIRACY IS ILLEGAL.
Please don't remind us every time we put in a goddamn DVD! And even if you have to put these annoying fuckers in; please let us skip them!
Jesus H. Christ, this shit is so fucking stupid!
Well, every time you put another one in; you have to sit through logos (That you can't skip) and then anti-piracy ads (That you can't skip). At least you can skip the trailers, but fuck me! This anti-piracy shit is going way to far! We get it:
PIRACY IS ILLEGAL.
Please don't remind us every time we put in a goddamn DVD! And even if you have to put these annoying fuckers in; please let us skip them!
Jesus H. Christ, this shit is so fucking stupid!
Thursday, June 13, 2013
I'm Thinking About Going to 'AA'...
...Not 'Alcoholic's Anonymous', shit-for-brains; I'm talking about the newly-formed 'Asshole's Anonymous'!
Never heard of it? Neither have I, so that's why I thought I should found it. Similar to the other AA and it's slightly-worse brother, NA (Narcotic's Anonymous), it has twelve steps. Which I shall go over...now:
Step 1 - We admitted we were fucking assholes; we were powerless and full of great douchebaggery. Goddamn, did we suck.
Step 2 - We believe that the flying spaghetti monster has intervened and set us down the path to recovery.
Step 3 - We made an 'informed' decision to let the flying spaghetti monster into our hearts and let him take over...I mean, I can't to be blame for my douchebaggery; it was obvious that the flying spaghetti monster needed me to fuck up so I could...not be a fuck up...wait...
Step 4 - We looked deep inside ourselves to find good morals and hope...All I found was blood, guts and bones...I need a fucking map.
Step 5 - We admitted to the flying spaghetti monsters that we suck and he's number one.
Step 6 - We're pretty goddamn ready to stop being a bunch of cunts.
Step 7 - More of the same fucking shit of the last six; I think we really got ahead of ourselves with the number of these fucking steps...
Step 8 - We made a list of all the people we've offended; and swiftly told those bastards to: "eat me".
Step 9 - The exact same fucking thing as step eight...fuck the person who wrote this list...oh wait...
Step 10 - MORE OF THE SAME GODDAMN SHIT.
Step 11 - EVEN MORE OF THE SAME FUCKING SHIT.
Step 12 - TAKE A FUCKING GUESS. FUCK THIS, I'M STILL AN ASSHOLE! AND I'M GODDAMNED PROUD!
...Ahem...maybe this whole idea of 'Asshole's Anonymous' wasn't such a great idea...
Never heard of it? Neither have I, so that's why I thought I should found it. Similar to the other AA and it's slightly-worse brother, NA (Narcotic's Anonymous), it has twelve steps. Which I shall go over...now:
Step 1 - We admitted we were fucking assholes; we were powerless and full of great douchebaggery. Goddamn, did we suck.
Step 2 - We believe that the flying spaghetti monster has intervened and set us down the path to recovery.
Step 3 - We made an 'informed' decision to let the flying spaghetti monster into our hearts and let him take over...I mean, I can't to be blame for my douchebaggery; it was obvious that the flying spaghetti monster needed me to fuck up so I could...not be a fuck up...wait...
Step 4 - We looked deep inside ourselves to find good morals and hope...All I found was blood, guts and bones...I need a fucking map.
Step 5 - We admitted to the flying spaghetti monsters that we suck and he's number one.
Step 6 - We're pretty goddamn ready to stop being a bunch of cunts.
Step 7 - More of the same fucking shit of the last six; I think we really got ahead of ourselves with the number of these fucking steps...
Step 8 - We made a list of all the people we've offended; and swiftly told those bastards to: "eat me".
Step 9 - The exact same fucking thing as step eight...fuck the person who wrote this list...oh wait...
Step 10 - MORE OF THE SAME GODDAMN SHIT.
Step 11 - EVEN MORE OF THE SAME FUCKING SHIT.
Step 12 - TAKE A FUCKING GUESS. FUCK THIS, I'M STILL AN ASSHOLE! AND I'M GODDAMNED PROUD!
...Ahem...maybe this whole idea of 'Asshole's Anonymous' wasn't such a great idea...
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