OH MY FUCKING LENNON, I'VE NEVER LAUGHED SO GODDAMN HARD

I laughed way too hard at this.

Hey! I Made a Shitty Documentary! (You Should Watch It)

It's not that bad.

Willy Wonka, you sadistic fuck, you!

Need a Virginity-Losing Song? Look No Further!

A good portion of you will eventually lose your virginity; some of all already have...you filthy slut, you! Anyway, for those of you who have yet to ride the hobby horse; here is a song I must recommend for your first time. c;

Unless you're a girl...this would be awkward...

Greetings from The Cynical Asshole.

Hey there, world; I'm The Cynical Asshole himself, Josh Surratt. Consider this a prologue to all the offensive, vile and down-right sickening posts you will be reading from me. Allow me to go over some basic information:


1. I have a website, it's much better than this; go check it out sometime: "http://thecynicalasshole.webs.com/"

2. I'm a freelance columnist. So please, for the love of Lennon; find me some goddamn work!

3. I'm a Left-Libertarian. So, expect me to be very socially liberal and fiscally conservative.

4. I don't believe in your faggy-ass God; so try to keep your respective panties out of a bunch.

5. I love The Beatles with a passion; expect those bastards to pop up a lot.

6. Rescue Me and Breaking Bad are the greatest shows to ever exist...ever...

7. The Breakfast Club is my favourite film of all-time.

8. Find me on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/JoshBlakeSurratt

9. I'm obsessed with the number nine.

10. Find me on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/user/DXFan1269

11. Find me on Tumblr (Yep, I'm hip.): http://joshsurrattlennon.tumblr.com/

12. I love cats; fuck dogs.

13. I wrote a book, please buy it: goo.gl/qMBmY


Anything else; just ask. So, that's my list of things you should know about me. I hope I make you laugh and piss you off a bit. See you later, assholes.