Boy, Do I Hate Insomnia...

"I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink. I'm so tired, me mind is on the brink. I wonder should I get up; and fix myself a drink? No, no, no."

 - John Lennon, I'm So Tired, The Beatles (The White Album)

How this line describes me oh-so perfectly. I'm such a tired person, especially during the day. But, goddammit, I cannot fall asleep to save my life.

Once I'm asleep, I'm out-cold. Nothing can wake me except for my own body telling me it's satisfied with the number of hours I've given it to rest. But, fuck me, it's so hard to fall asleep! Literally, in spite of how tired I am, I cannot just "go to sleep". How people do this is beyond my comprehension! Jesus H. Christ, what I wouldn't give to have a regular sleeping routine.

Perhaps this is why my dreams are always so odd and bizarre. I deprive my body of its essential sleep for such a duration, that when I do finally allow it a chance to replenish lost energy in a slumber; that my mind decides to get back at me by going deep into my subconscious and dishing out all my worst fears and worst memories at the same time!

Last night, I dreamt that I was moving into a new home. In this very, very large home was ordinary, plain and cream-coloured rooms with nothing in them but beds. (Also cream-coloured.) But then, there was this one room on the first floor of the house which looked something akin to a child's room. It was bright and colourful; and was filled with toys and games! A race-car bed, bright walls, two television sets and a Nintendo 64 console! However, all the objects were broken and I woke up before I could explore the house.

I sure fucking hope I don't dream of such house again tonight.

Sigh.

Alas, I must try once again to sleep; if I am still unsuccessful, I'll be back. Perhaps Paul McCartney can help me drift into a Golden Slumber?

"Golden slumbers fill your eyes! Smiles awake you when you rise! Sleep pretty darling, do not cry; and I will sing a lullaby."

 - Paul McCartney, Golden Slumbers, Abbey Road